30 Days in the Hole

I’m a glutton.

I’m a chef – that’s what we do. Which means that I’m also a glutton for punishment.


Gluttony Pic

I need supervision. I actively resist any sort of constraints but alas, I understand the need for self-imposed regiments. I need supervision. The notion of self-imposed anything takes a mindset that welcomes pain and a feeling of uncomfortable – that’s an entrepreneur talking there…that’s what we do. We resist comfort and stability – we need to quench our thirst with pain and uncertainty.

I started dating someone from my past at the end of last year. Not my dating past – in fact her and I briefly worked together. Very briefly. She was leaving as I was coming on board. And, poof…she was gone. Not gone-gone though. There’s this thing called Facebook…

We connected again when she saw that I was looking for a healthy sumthin-sumthin to do, and asked if I was interested in being her guest at a hot yoga session. I happily agreed. After bending myself and contorting body parts I never knew existed for 90 minutes in 104F heat and 90% humidity – I survived. The instructor knew I was a newbie and congratulated me on ‘staying the whole time’ – as if I knew there was an option to leave?? Fuck! Anyway, I lived through it and wore my badge of honor with pride. She even consulted her past CPR training manuals to be readied for an ‘event’ just to make sure I wouldn’t expire. She’s like that. She looks out for me. For everyone, really.

About 4 years ago I was doing a pretty heavy workout regiment. It started with walking a few miles a week that turned into miles a day. Then light weights 2-3 times a week. That turned into 5 days of a really focused muscle workout. I lost 25 lbs. of fat and gained 20 lbs. of muscle. Everything changed – my body, my mind and spirit. Then I got lazy. I got used to feeling amazing and decided that this would last forever. I drank a lot and ate whatever I wanted. Stopped working out, because the gains I saw could be recovered so quickly – so fuck it.

I sank into a depression that I couldn’t get out of.

So, here we are – or I am.

I’ve been instructed to NOT consume – dairy, sugar, alcohol, grains, gluten, fruit, beans/legumes, root vegetables, highly processed foods, and go really light on carbs.

I started out at 206.4 Lbs.

It’s odd how much shit I’m getting for this. Let me be clear, this is in large part a mental exercise and the health benefits I’ll encounter are merely an afterthought. So chill the fuck out.

I love you

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